I know this sounds really crazy
but I lay there night after night
watching all these films
and I think to myself
the struggle and lives that people lead
I watched a film called
prayers for bobby
and it really puts things into perspective
for life in general
I never really had anyone
to talk to properly about being gay.
There are millions of people out there
all in the same boat
and having someone to talk to
and listen to you can
really make a difference
I never really talk to people about my life
is it because I'm scared to
maybe
but there are so many ways out there for people too and I fel like I need to do something bout it
I journal my life and write every feeling and emotion I feel down for people to look back on in the years to come
I don't try
and
maybe that is my weakness
Why is it so wrong ??
It's not I think but
I don't take the time out
to do anything about it
I just can't seem to get a focus on anything and why
cause I never had anything to focus on
being wrapped up in others things
Like life
work
and friends
I have missed the biggest part of my life
I am approaching 32 this year
and have nothing to look back on
and think that I made any real contribution to the world in any way shape or form
there are people out there
fighting everyday
Whether it being
human rights
The right to marry
The right to be with the one you love
But in an unforgiving world it is an up hill struggle ?
Staying in most nights is probably not good for you or socialising with people
like myself has kept me sheltered
is it the scaredness of a person enough to make things better ?
I Suppose blogging everyday is a good way but if no one reads or hears about it then what is a person to do ?
pack up and move away
run and hide from problems
or doing something about it
as I write this I have all the best intentions of trying to do better for myself
but I know that within a couple of days or weeks it will be a forgotten piece of writing drifting about in the ether somewhere
Where is the logic in that ??
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