I Admired You

I admired you

I looked to you for guidance 

I fell for you 

Over and over again 

And 

I thought you loved me too 

I gave you my body 

My heart 

My soul 

But you threw them away 

You took everything away 

And left me to rot in my shell 

Hearing those words 

from your mouth 

Hurt more than a 

Blade of a dagger 

Piercing my heart !! 

I hate you for making me love you 

I hate you for leaving 

And 

I hate you for not being there for me 

You left me all alone 

With no reason why 

Or an explanation 

For years I have shunned 

Every guy I meet 

Who comes around my life 

No relationships because 

I still loved you 

The one guy I found to replace you 

I didn't want anymore 

I single handedly 

Buried my emotions so deep 

Not even I can dig myself out 

My heart broke 

Ripped out in anger and hate 

Without you 

I just sit around 

Wasting my life 

But 

When we were together

Every minute felt too 

Important to waste 

I tried to be the best person 

I can for you 

I tried to make you feel special 

I did everything in my power 

To make you happy 

And give you all what you ever wanted 

And all I got in return was 

Heartache and pain 

And a heart so black 

Not even the colour could match 

the most deepest parts of the ocean 

Unseen by the human eye !!